I'm coming to you live from Sacramento, CA. Luckily the crew desk gods smiled down on me and gave me a decent send-off trip. We had a super long day yesterday but I got to visit my old stomping grounds, IAD, otherwise known as Washington Dulles International Airport. Rather fitting, I think. Also, my last segment is a deadhead (aka, sitting in a passenger seat) home from Philly so I brought clothes to change into so I can actually enjoy it (read: have a glass of wine).
I stopped at Subway at Dulles last night and they had the most adorable little man working there. He was doing the veggies and sauce part of the "sandwich artistry" and he had the cutest coke bottle glasses in the world. He was so tiny that I almost wanted to pack him up and bring him along with me to Sacramento. It reminded me of my lady-crush who works at the Quizno's at the Vegas airport and I want to tell you about her and recommend the experience.
The first time I ever got a sandwich there was kind of a big deal. My good pal Sally and I were potentially food-poisoned by the College Station Quizno's so since then, I haven't really been keen on their sandwiches. I can't remember if I didn't have any time that day or what the deal was but I decided to try it. I'm so happy that I did! The woman working the cash register was this darling of an older Asian woman and she called everyone "Huneeeeey" and was seriously the most amazing cashier known to man. She could figure out your total (even with airport employee discount) before she'd even finish the last person's credit card slip. It became a religious experience for me to visit her and something you'd have to see in person (or see my imitation of her). The last time I was in Vegas must have been her day off and I knew it before I even saw the employees by the gigantor line that had formed. It's not that they were extra busy or anything, it's because my lady crush wasn't there rocking out the register. The last time I saw her, I asked for no onions on my sandwich. While pulling out the previous person's receipt and punching my order on the register, she looked at me deadpan and said, "You want extra onions, huneeeeey?" with a wink. Supersonic speed and a sense of humor? Love it.
I will miss her and so many other various things about flying but I am also looking forward to new possibilities.
Ciao, United (for now... maybe).
Running Log: 7 miles, all on the treadmill. Never thought I'd be able to do that!
Showing posts with label my insane job. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my insane job. Show all posts
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Testing my patience and my semi-job search...
I'm so close to being done with flying (for now?) that I can almost taste it. I'm more excited than I thought I'd be, maybe because I have so many other things occupying my mind right now... Nah, it's probably because it's summer and to be honest summer flying is a complete test of one's patience.
We recently started offering these insane menu items on our flights to the West Coast, which is nice to a point. The food is the best stuff I've ever seen on board (or tasted... shhhh) but there is just so darn much of it! I usually volunteer to set up the galley and it's a serious project to try to fit three types of salad, three types of sandwhiches, four different snackboxes, smoothies, Vitamin Water, Lay's Stacks, cookies, Toblerone bars, Clif bars, Odwalla bars, ug... am I forgetting something, all onto one cart. It's a SERIOUS amount of food. And when you consider that no one reads menus or listens to announcements, it wears me out a little bit to run through the items list with 158 people over and over. But yeah, the food is good (personally, I recommend the Caprese Sandwhich. It has these insanely good roasted tomatoes on it. Mouth watering just thinking about it).
Yeah... I'm looking forward to a little break from this. I'm not sure what will be around when I return (if anything? United? UniCon? ConU? Lufthansa USA?).
I've been talking with families in my area about potential nanny jobs. Some people have acted all surprised about this development but I just want to remind the world that I don't dislike kids (especially when they aren't in large groups). I baby-sat from pretty much the day I turned 13, used to summer nanny for a great family in my neighborhood and most recently, I substituted at the after school program in my county in Virginia. I get along fine with kids, mostly because I don't treat them like morons. Just the other night, when I was sitting down with some potential nanny employers, we were talking about the stimulus that babies get and how they absorb so much more than what people give them credit for. I completely feel that way. Most people have trouble grasping the fact that babies and small children are smart! I can't tell you how many parents I've seen act a fool in front of their kids (i.e. screaming and yelling because your stroller didn't appear on the jetbridge according to your time schedule) and then they wonder why their kids throw regular hissy fits and act generally bratty. Uh... hello! It's probably because they saw their parents throw a temper tantrum and therefore think that is an acceptable way to behave.
But I digress, the point is that I can make more money nannying for a 4 month old baby than I do hawking 900 food items to 158 people in the back of a 757 so that is my real motivation. Like I've said before, this is a straight up gift that I have been handed to keep my medical benefits and basically do what I want. It's been really fun exploring my options so far and I have a feeling that something that is a perfect fit for me will find it's way into my life, like pretty much every other opportunity I've had so far.
Running Log: 14 miles yesterday (NEW WORLD RECORD!)
We recently started offering these insane menu items on our flights to the West Coast, which is nice to a point. The food is the best stuff I've ever seen on board (or tasted... shhhh) but there is just so darn much of it! I usually volunteer to set up the galley and it's a serious project to try to fit three types of salad, three types of sandwhiches, four different snackboxes, smoothies, Vitamin Water, Lay's Stacks, cookies, Toblerone bars, Clif bars, Odwalla bars, ug... am I forgetting something, all onto one cart. It's a SERIOUS amount of food. And when you consider that no one reads menus or listens to announcements, it wears me out a little bit to run through the items list with 158 people over and over. But yeah, the food is good (personally, I recommend the Caprese Sandwhich. It has these insanely good roasted tomatoes on it. Mouth watering just thinking about it).
Yeah... I'm looking forward to a little break from this. I'm not sure what will be around when I return (if anything? United? UniCon? ConU? Lufthansa USA?).
I've been talking with families in my area about potential nanny jobs. Some people have acted all surprised about this development but I just want to remind the world that I don't dislike kids (especially when they aren't in large groups). I baby-sat from pretty much the day I turned 13, used to summer nanny for a great family in my neighborhood and most recently, I substituted at the after school program in my county in Virginia. I get along fine with kids, mostly because I don't treat them like morons. Just the other night, when I was sitting down with some potential nanny employers, we were talking about the stimulus that babies get and how they absorb so much more than what people give them credit for. I completely feel that way. Most people have trouble grasping the fact that babies and small children are smart! I can't tell you how many parents I've seen act a fool in front of their kids (i.e. screaming and yelling because your stroller didn't appear on the jetbridge according to your time schedule) and then they wonder why their kids throw regular hissy fits and act generally bratty. Uh... hello! It's probably because they saw their parents throw a temper tantrum and therefore think that is an acceptable way to behave.
But I digress, the point is that I can make more money nannying for a 4 month old baby than I do hawking 900 food items to 158 people in the back of a 757 so that is my real motivation. Like I've said before, this is a straight up gift that I have been handed to keep my medical benefits and basically do what I want. It's been really fun exploring my options so far and I have a feeling that something that is a perfect fit for me will find it's way into my life, like pretty much every other opportunity I've had so far.
Running Log: 14 miles yesterday (NEW WORLD RECORD!)
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Crisis Averted!
So I have been awarded a voluntary furlough.
Yes, you read that correctly, awarded. I feel like I have basically been handed a 30 month gift. I keep my medical, dental and vision benefits (at a cost of only about $8 a month) and I can still travel when I want to, although only on United because I won't have my crew badge. I keep my seniority so when I come back at the end of this time, I'll be at a higher pay scale and ever closer to the holy grail of the 5 year mark.
I am making a list of goals, or a To Do list of sorts, to guide me in the things that I want to accomplish.
My plan right now? (btw, I still work until Aug. 31)
-visit family at home for awhile
-get super ready for the marathon
-China in November
-collect unemployment at the beginning
-find a fun job for the rest of the time
I can't even explain the weight that has been taken off my shoulders. For the last week of the voluntary bid period, the numbers looked terrible and I was looking at a straight lay off with no benefits. 700 people put in for the voluntary in the last 24 hours and boy, am I thankful! I feel so incredibly blessed to have this crazy opportunity to keep my medical benefits and be grounded with a little more routine right now.
I just had a killer trip with a layover in Bozeman, MT where we rented a car and drove down to Yellowstone. Phenomenal! Unfortunately, this was totally unplanned for me so I didn't have my camera. Hopefully the pictures that I took on my Blackberry will turn out ok. BUT, I dropped my Blackberry in the hallway of our hotel because there were no elevators and I had to carry my bags up and down 2 flights of stairs so I'm waiting for this (hopefully!) nice man to mail it back to me.
Yes, you read that correctly, awarded. I feel like I have basically been handed a 30 month gift. I keep my medical, dental and vision benefits (at a cost of only about $8 a month) and I can still travel when I want to, although only on United because I won't have my crew badge. I keep my seniority so when I come back at the end of this time, I'll be at a higher pay scale and ever closer to the holy grail of the 5 year mark.
I am making a list of goals, or a To Do list of sorts, to guide me in the things that I want to accomplish.
My plan right now? (btw, I still work until Aug. 31)
-visit family at home for awhile
-get super ready for the marathon
-China in November
-collect unemployment at the beginning
-find a fun job for the rest of the time
I can't even explain the weight that has been taken off my shoulders. For the last week of the voluntary bid period, the numbers looked terrible and I was looking at a straight lay off with no benefits. 700 people put in for the voluntary in the last 24 hours and boy, am I thankful! I feel so incredibly blessed to have this crazy opportunity to keep my medical benefits and be grounded with a little more routine right now.
I just had a killer trip with a layover in Bozeman, MT where we rented a car and drove down to Yellowstone. Phenomenal! Unfortunately, this was totally unplanned for me so I didn't have my camera. Hopefully the pictures that I took on my Blackberry will turn out ok. BUT, I dropped my Blackberry in the hallway of our hotel because there were no elevators and I had to carry my bags up and down 2 flights of stairs so I'm waiting for this (hopefully!) nice man to mail it back to me.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
A rant about airports
Ok... please see previous post about my lack of sleep before you proceed and think I am a giant biotch :)
Ahhhhh. The summer travel season. Full flights. First-time fliers. Extreme heat in the greenhouse that is our concourse at O'Hare. Thunderstorms. Infinity small children.
It's glorious. In the completely seniority based system that is working for an airline, you probably have to have 35-40 years with the company to have a vacation in the summer. The senior peeps HATE to work in the summer. Why? It's way harder. But it shouldn't have to be!
Here is my top ten list of things anyone can do to make traveling easier:
1. IF YOU NEED IT, BRING IT YOURSELF
This is my golden rule of travel. Don't ask me if we have pretzels. The little monitor that was in the gate room told you that the service would be beverage only. We don't have free food anymore on most airlines (hell, US Airways was charging for cokes for awhile there!). Please also don't tell me you NEED a blanket. First of, the airline blankets in economy class are NASTY, but that's a whole 'nother rant. Secondly, if you NEEDED it, you would have brought your own. The same goes for a cooler for your insulin, a whole bottle of water, a microwave for your baby's bottle, pillows for your aching back and toys/cards for your children. And when I tell you, politely, that we don't have what you supposedly "NEED", don't roll your eyes at me. I'm not being rude, I frankly just don't have it. I will do my best to help your situation but airplanes don't come stocked with fridges, microwaves, and endless supplies of everything.
2. NEVER EVER EVER TRAVEL WITH A BABY (or multiple children) BY YOURSELF
Seriously people, don't do it. Find a way and bring a friend/parent/spouse/whoever. I am not kidding when I tell you I can't step off the plane to help you fold down your stroller while holding your child and the 32 bags you decided not to check. It's FAA rules, baby. It may be harsh, but I'm telling you these things for your own good. Bring someone with you. You will thank me later. I could go into greater detail about how you should never travel with a baby, period and expose them to the myriad of disease available aboard an aircraft, but I'm really trying to be less judgmental about this.
3. IF YOU CAN, JUST CHECK YOUR BAGS
99.999% of the time, they don't lose your luggage. If you can, just check it. Don't try to pack for a 10 day trip (because in fact, most people pack what they need for about 6 months instead of 10 days) in a carry on bag. Which leads me to...
4. YOU PACKED IT, YOU STOW IT
Another little gem that I'm not kidding about. I cannot help you with your carry-on bag. First of all, if you need me to "help" you with it, it's probably way too heavy. I'm also not really tall enough to stow my own sparsely packed bag, but at least if I hurt myself doing that, the airline will take care of me. We were expressly told about 600 times in training not to ever pick up anyone else's bag since we are not eligible for occupational injury coverage if we get hurt. I'm sorry, but my meager paycheck is more valuable to me than helping you with your way too heavy bag. Harsh, but it's the way it is. However, I will be more than happy to gate check your bag that is either too large or too heavy for the overhead bins. (Sidenote: if you bring on two huge bags or more than two bags, I will be so angry at both you and the gate agent for allowing you to board with your grotesque amount of stuff.)
5. IF YOU ARE TRAVELING WITH FIDO, LEAVE HIM IN HIS BAG/KENNEL
It's great that you think Fido or Fifi or Barney the cat is the cutest, best pet in the world and want to show him/her off. It's unfortunate that he/she hates being "all cooped up" for hours, but remember, YOU did this to your pet when you chose to bring them onboard. Take them to a vet, get them a tranq pill, and LEAVE THEM IN THE DANG BAG.
(I once had a flight where this crazy lady actually took her dog into the lav where he poo-ed on the floor. We don't have the capability to clean feces up onboard so we have to lock off that lav for the remainder of the flight. As if we didn't already have lines at every bathroom anyway. Thanks, lady. You officially earned your idiot card.)
6. WHEN THE FLIGHT GETS DELAYED PLEASE DON'T ASK ME ABOUT YOUR CONNECTING FLIGHT EVERY 5 MINUTES
So important for so many reasons. First of all, you probably booked your flight on hotwire.com where they love to provide people with 15 minute connection times. Laughable! Second, unfortunately, I don't have a super secret computer in the back galley where I can email the gate of your next flight and have them "hold the plane" (btw, we RARELY hold planes anyway). Try to sit there and relax for the remainder of the flight. There is not a whole lot we can do while we're still in the air. I'll be happy to take your credit or debit card and bring you a vodka tonic if that's what you need to relax.
7. USE THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT CALL BUTTON WISELY
Please don't ring it 2.5 seconds after the captain has just made an announcement to the effect of "Flight Attendants, be seated." That means it's going to be bumpy and I'm most likely not going to disobey the captain to get you another glass of water that you can spill all over yourself in turbulence. This also goes for 2.5 seconds after take off or before landing. I need to be seated for those important things too. And if the button is on your arm rest and you are pushing the one with the person on it and there's an annoying bell ringing over and over, yep, IT'S YOU! And everyone on the plane is trying to figure out who you are so they can punch you in the face! (This also goes for children who think it's funny to push the button over and over. Newsflash: it's not cute. Make your kid stop it.)
8. PLEASE LEARN HOW TO READ SIGNS BEFORE APPROACHING THE TERMINAL
Guess what people?!? Gate B4 is probably between gate B3 and B5 and you know what else? There are HUGE signs everywhere that tell you how to get to the B gates, C gates, BFE gates, Baggage Claim, usually a few restaurants, Red Carpet Clubs, etc. Just because I'm walking through an airport in my uniform, does not mean that I'm familiar with it or have ever even been there before. The aforementioned eye-roll when I tell you that I'm sorry but I don't know how to find whatever it is you are looking for is totally unnecessary. OH, and there is an airport diagram in the back of that magazine in your seat pocket if you are going to a large airport that you are unfamiliar with. As always, you can take that fabulous magazine with you if you need further reference.
The same goes for baggage claim. As working crew, I can't check my bags (99% of the time I don't know my final destination for the day) so I have no idea what carousel your bags will be appearing on. What I do know is that there will be a LARGE sign that says our flight number and where we came from and it will generally be above the carousel that your bags will appear at. Usually, there are also several announcements made to help with that. It's amazing how that works.
9. PLEASE DO NOT PARTAKE IN THE GALLEY OLYMPICS
This is one of my absolute favorites! Do you know how much of a tool you look like doing your calisthenics in the galley? As soon as you leave, I will be mercilessly making fun of you, especially if it's on a 4 hour or less flight. How do you sit through movies, plays or sporting events (the latter having MUCH less comfortable seating than an airplane)? I've been to many of the above activities and I can't remember seeing anyone doing little exercises during intermission or on a beer/bathroom run. I also will make fun of you because, in general, you are coincidentally the biggest douche-bag on the aircraft. Sit down and take a nap. Flying makes people tired. Trust me on that. You will enjoy your trip much more if you just rest and relax.
10. IF THE SEATBELT SIGN IS ON, YOU SHOULD BE IN YOUR SEAT WITH YOUR SEATBELT FASTENED
Ahh, the best for last. I completely understand your burning need to use the lav. I realize it's been about 25 minutes since you boarded. I can tell that you apparently have a bladder the size of a pea. BUT, I still have to, by law, tell you that the seatbelt sign is on. Because, you know, it's easy to miss the 50 million or so lighted signs all throughout the aircraft. If I don't tell you that it's on and you get hurt, guess who gets in trouble... ME!! Um... no thanks.
SO... here's the deal and I'm gonna make this really simple for you. If I tell you that the seatbelt sign is on, that is your cue to evaluate the necessity of your bathroom needs and either sit down or get in and hurry up. I don't really care for accidents of any kind, even if you are a grown man or woman and should have the ability to know better. Sorry to use a sickening pun, but I know that shit happens. If you gotta go, you gotta go. If you don't, get back in your seat and we'll try again in a few.
NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ask me if you can go to the bathroom or try to have a 10 minute conversation with me about why the captain hasn't turned the sign off yet. I'm just going to keep telling you, "Sir (or ma'am), the seat belt sign is on. Sir, the seat belt sign is on. Sir, the seat belt sign is on." Because that is what I have been trained (legally) to say. It's non-negotiable so I really don't want you to look at me with a puppy dog face and beg to go to the bathroom. I can't assess your urgency, but I'm not going to give you permission. If you need to, get in and take care of business and then get your butt back in your seat.
Basically, if you take one thing away from this rant... ok, I'd rather that you take two things away from this rant...
1. Contrary to the words above, I don't hate my job (most days, anyways). I also don't mind the average traveler. I just believe that...
2. YOU have a HUGE influence on how your airport experience is going to play out. If you prepare well and go into it with a good attitude, you'll be fine. I have limited resources and lots of rules that govern what I can and cannot do. If I tell you no, it's not because I am being cranky, it's because I have a good reason. Of course, no one can control things like weather and planes are exactly like cars and have breakdowns now and again, so the best laid plans are sometimes foiled. But 9 times out of 10, trips are uneventful and, dare I say, pleasant, if you follow my simple rules and just chill out. If it takes a vodka tonic and/or a prescription medication to get you to chill out, I suggest you order one/bring some meds. I realize that not every gate agent or flight attendant is nice, but kill them with kindness. It's harder to be rude to someone with a genuine smile on their face. Good luck and safe summer travels!
Ahhhhh. The summer travel season. Full flights. First-time fliers. Extreme heat in the greenhouse that is our concourse at O'Hare. Thunderstorms. Infinity small children.
It's glorious. In the completely seniority based system that is working for an airline, you probably have to have 35-40 years with the company to have a vacation in the summer. The senior peeps HATE to work in the summer. Why? It's way harder. But it shouldn't have to be!
Here is my top ten list of things anyone can do to make traveling easier:
1. IF YOU NEED IT, BRING IT YOURSELF
This is my golden rule of travel. Don't ask me if we have pretzels. The little monitor that was in the gate room told you that the service would be beverage only. We don't have free food anymore on most airlines (hell, US Airways was charging for cokes for awhile there!). Please also don't tell me you NEED a blanket. First of, the airline blankets in economy class are NASTY, but that's a whole 'nother rant. Secondly, if you NEEDED it, you would have brought your own. The same goes for a cooler for your insulin, a whole bottle of water, a microwave for your baby's bottle, pillows for your aching back and toys/cards for your children. And when I tell you, politely, that we don't have what you supposedly "NEED", don't roll your eyes at me. I'm not being rude, I frankly just don't have it. I will do my best to help your situation but airplanes don't come stocked with fridges, microwaves, and endless supplies of everything.
2. NEVER EVER EVER TRAVEL WITH A BABY (or multiple children) BY YOURSELF
Seriously people, don't do it. Find a way and bring a friend/parent/spouse/whoever. I am not kidding when I tell you I can't step off the plane to help you fold down your stroller while holding your child and the 32 bags you decided not to check. It's FAA rules, baby. It may be harsh, but I'm telling you these things for your own good. Bring someone with you. You will thank me later. I could go into greater detail about how you should never travel with a baby, period and expose them to the myriad of disease available aboard an aircraft, but I'm really trying to be less judgmental about this.
3. IF YOU CAN, JUST CHECK YOUR BAGS
99.999% of the time, they don't lose your luggage. If you can, just check it. Don't try to pack for a 10 day trip (because in fact, most people pack what they need for about 6 months instead of 10 days) in a carry on bag. Which leads me to...
4. YOU PACKED IT, YOU STOW IT
Another little gem that I'm not kidding about. I cannot help you with your carry-on bag. First of all, if you need me to "help" you with it, it's probably way too heavy. I'm also not really tall enough to stow my own sparsely packed bag, but at least if I hurt myself doing that, the airline will take care of me. We were expressly told about 600 times in training not to ever pick up anyone else's bag since we are not eligible for occupational injury coverage if we get hurt. I'm sorry, but my meager paycheck is more valuable to me than helping you with your way too heavy bag. Harsh, but it's the way it is. However, I will be more than happy to gate check your bag that is either too large or too heavy for the overhead bins. (Sidenote: if you bring on two huge bags or more than two bags, I will be so angry at both you and the gate agent for allowing you to board with your grotesque amount of stuff.)
5. IF YOU ARE TRAVELING WITH FIDO, LEAVE HIM IN HIS BAG/KENNEL
It's great that you think Fido or Fifi or Barney the cat is the cutest, best pet in the world and want to show him/her off. It's unfortunate that he/she hates being "all cooped up" for hours, but remember, YOU did this to your pet when you chose to bring them onboard. Take them to a vet, get them a tranq pill, and LEAVE THEM IN THE DANG BAG.
(I once had a flight where this crazy lady actually took her dog into the lav where he poo-ed on the floor. We don't have the capability to clean feces up onboard so we have to lock off that lav for the remainder of the flight. As if we didn't already have lines at every bathroom anyway. Thanks, lady. You officially earned your idiot card.)
6. WHEN THE FLIGHT GETS DELAYED PLEASE DON'T ASK ME ABOUT YOUR CONNECTING FLIGHT EVERY 5 MINUTES
So important for so many reasons. First of all, you probably booked your flight on hotwire.com where they love to provide people with 15 minute connection times. Laughable! Second, unfortunately, I don't have a super secret computer in the back galley where I can email the gate of your next flight and have them "hold the plane" (btw, we RARELY hold planes anyway). Try to sit there and relax for the remainder of the flight. There is not a whole lot we can do while we're still in the air. I'll be happy to take your credit or debit card and bring you a vodka tonic if that's what you need to relax.
7. USE THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT CALL BUTTON WISELY
Please don't ring it 2.5 seconds after the captain has just made an announcement to the effect of "Flight Attendants, be seated." That means it's going to be bumpy and I'm most likely not going to disobey the captain to get you another glass of water that you can spill all over yourself in turbulence. This also goes for 2.5 seconds after take off or before landing. I need to be seated for those important things too. And if the button is on your arm rest and you are pushing the one with the person on it and there's an annoying bell ringing over and over, yep, IT'S YOU! And everyone on the plane is trying to figure out who you are so they can punch you in the face! (This also goes for children who think it's funny to push the button over and over. Newsflash: it's not cute. Make your kid stop it.)
8. PLEASE LEARN HOW TO READ SIGNS BEFORE APPROACHING THE TERMINAL
Guess what people?!? Gate B4 is probably between gate B3 and B5 and you know what else? There are HUGE signs everywhere that tell you how to get to the B gates, C gates, BFE gates, Baggage Claim, usually a few restaurants, Red Carpet Clubs, etc. Just because I'm walking through an airport in my uniform, does not mean that I'm familiar with it or have ever even been there before. The aforementioned eye-roll when I tell you that I'm sorry but I don't know how to find whatever it is you are looking for is totally unnecessary. OH, and there is an airport diagram in the back of that magazine in your seat pocket if you are going to a large airport that you are unfamiliar with. As always, you can take that fabulous magazine with you if you need further reference.
The same goes for baggage claim. As working crew, I can't check my bags (99% of the time I don't know my final destination for the day) so I have no idea what carousel your bags will be appearing on. What I do know is that there will be a LARGE sign that says our flight number and where we came from and it will generally be above the carousel that your bags will appear at. Usually, there are also several announcements made to help with that. It's amazing how that works.
9. PLEASE DO NOT PARTAKE IN THE GALLEY OLYMPICS
This is one of my absolute favorites! Do you know how much of a tool you look like doing your calisthenics in the galley? As soon as you leave, I will be mercilessly making fun of you, especially if it's on a 4 hour or less flight. How do you sit through movies, plays or sporting events (the latter having MUCH less comfortable seating than an airplane)? I've been to many of the above activities and I can't remember seeing anyone doing little exercises during intermission or on a beer/bathroom run. I also will make fun of you because, in general, you are coincidentally the biggest douche-bag on the aircraft. Sit down and take a nap. Flying makes people tired. Trust me on that. You will enjoy your trip much more if you just rest and relax.
10. IF THE SEATBELT SIGN IS ON, YOU SHOULD BE IN YOUR SEAT WITH YOUR SEATBELT FASTENED
Ahh, the best for last. I completely understand your burning need to use the lav. I realize it's been about 25 minutes since you boarded. I can tell that you apparently have a bladder the size of a pea. BUT, I still have to, by law, tell you that the seatbelt sign is on. Because, you know, it's easy to miss the 50 million or so lighted signs all throughout the aircraft. If I don't tell you that it's on and you get hurt, guess who gets in trouble... ME!! Um... no thanks.
SO... here's the deal and I'm gonna make this really simple for you. If I tell you that the seatbelt sign is on, that is your cue to evaluate the necessity of your bathroom needs and either sit down or get in and hurry up. I don't really care for accidents of any kind, even if you are a grown man or woman and should have the ability to know better. Sorry to use a sickening pun, but I know that shit happens. If you gotta go, you gotta go. If you don't, get back in your seat and we'll try again in a few.
NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES ask me if you can go to the bathroom or try to have a 10 minute conversation with me about why the captain hasn't turned the sign off yet. I'm just going to keep telling you, "Sir (or ma'am), the seat belt sign is on. Sir, the seat belt sign is on. Sir, the seat belt sign is on." Because that is what I have been trained (legally) to say. It's non-negotiable so I really don't want you to look at me with a puppy dog face and beg to go to the bathroom. I can't assess your urgency, but I'm not going to give you permission. If you need to, get in and take care of business and then get your butt back in your seat.
Basically, if you take one thing away from this rant... ok, I'd rather that you take two things away from this rant...
1. Contrary to the words above, I don't hate my job (most days, anyways). I also don't mind the average traveler. I just believe that...
2. YOU have a HUGE influence on how your airport experience is going to play out. If you prepare well and go into it with a good attitude, you'll be fine. I have limited resources and lots of rules that govern what I can and cannot do. If I tell you no, it's not because I am being cranky, it's because I have a good reason. Of course, no one can control things like weather and planes are exactly like cars and have breakdowns now and again, so the best laid plans are sometimes foiled. But 9 times out of 10, trips are uneventful and, dare I say, pleasant, if you follow my simple rules and just chill out. If it takes a vodka tonic and/or a prescription medication to get you to chill out, I suggest you order one/bring some meds. I realize that not every gate agent or flight attendant is nice, but kill them with kindness. It's harder to be rude to someone with a genuine smile on their face. Good luck and safe summer travels!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sorry, I'm kinda boring.
I've been kind of bored for the last week or so. Most likely because I've actually been working a lot (until today, I got royally screwed and if I could go and punch someone at the crew desk, trust me, I would. Grr.) but my trips have been nothing to write home about for the most part. I had a couple of Vegas layovers last week but I was tired and never even made it to the Strip. Sidenote: I had an excuse. Free happy hour at our layover hotel. Beer, wine and appetizers. All of you that know me well know that I could probably live off only appetizers so it was a cost-efficient way to eat dinner! They had a fat spread and the staff was so nice. It made me really want to go to Vegas soon for some vacation time. Even though I pretty much despise gambling, the atmosphere is so great.
Work is mostly an exercise in survival right now because all everyone wants to talk/debate/whine about is the upcoming furloughs and it irritates me. It's going to be a long month until we find out the outcome. So far, not that many people have put in for the voluntary so I am still on the chopping block. I think the bids for voluntary furlough close on the 20th of July so I will be relieved when it's all over and I can start thinking about the potential next chapter in my life.
I haven't been sleeping well lately (what is up with the sun coming up at 4:30 a.m.? NOT COOL!) and my layovers have generally been so short with early morning check-ins. It's made me a little testy and kind of affecting my mood and energy level. I even passed up going to Taste of Chicago last night because after flying all day and taking the train and bus home in the heat, I was just done. Like I said, I'm kinda boring these days!
Marathon training is not going as well as I'd like it to be. I'm having trouble fitting in long runs when I am on layovers because of the time that they take. When I've been home, I just haven't been putting in the time that I need to. Luckily, I started about a week ahead of time so I am not exactly falling behind and all of the shorter runs I'm doing on treadmills at hotels can only help to add mileage for the week. I just need to get focused. We'll be shopping for gyms in July so hopefully that will give me some motivation.
I just need to get through the next five days of working until Sunday when we finally go on our long-awaited trip to Boston. I've been telling Adam that I'd take him pretty much since we met and I promised him a trip to Fenway Park for his birthday (which was in Feb). I think we'll both be antsy all week working but the payoff should be AWESOME! We have rooms at some great hotels and I am super excited to eat a lot, see my family, and do the Boston touristy thing with my first-time visitor!
Work is mostly an exercise in survival right now because all everyone wants to talk/debate/whine about is the upcoming furloughs and it irritates me. It's going to be a long month until we find out the outcome. So far, not that many people have put in for the voluntary so I am still on the chopping block. I think the bids for voluntary furlough close on the 20th of July so I will be relieved when it's all over and I can start thinking about the potential next chapter in my life.
I haven't been sleeping well lately (what is up with the sun coming up at 4:30 a.m.? NOT COOL!) and my layovers have generally been so short with early morning check-ins. It's made me a little testy and kind of affecting my mood and energy level. I even passed up going to Taste of Chicago last night because after flying all day and taking the train and bus home in the heat, I was just done. Like I said, I'm kinda boring these days!
Marathon training is not going as well as I'd like it to be. I'm having trouble fitting in long runs when I am on layovers because of the time that they take. When I've been home, I just haven't been putting in the time that I need to. Luckily, I started about a week ahead of time so I am not exactly falling behind and all of the shorter runs I'm doing on treadmills at hotels can only help to add mileage for the week. I just need to get focused. We'll be shopping for gyms in July so hopefully that will give me some motivation.
I just need to get through the next five days of working until Sunday when we finally go on our long-awaited trip to Boston. I've been telling Adam that I'd take him pretty much since we met and I promised him a trip to Fenway Park for his birthday (which was in Feb). I think we'll both be antsy all week working but the payoff should be AWESOME! We have rooms at some great hotels and I am super excited to eat a lot, see my family, and do the Boston touristy thing with my first-time visitor!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Life is Like a Roller Coaster
(luckily, I actually like roller coasters. Especially this one: Manhattan Express at the NYNY Casino in Vegas, which is ironically where I spent the last two nights)Yesterday was crazy! I had a really long day of flying but right before the last leg, I turned on my blackberry to a million emails and texts. Apparently, United announced the need for 2150 furloughs in the fall. I'm just going to give a quick overview of how the system works because it's uber-confusing and there's no need for that.
We have people on furlough now for various lengths of time. They are all being "recalled" to the company so we'll be back to our original population of flight attendants (15,000 ish). Then everyone has the opportunity to bid for a voluntary furlough. It's actually a sweet deal because you get to keep your benefits (med, dental and flight). If they get 2150 volunteers, all is well. If they don't then poo hits the fan and things get hairy. Because of where I sit, I think it's best for me to put in for voluntary furlough and hope that they get 2150, whether it includes me or not. If I get INvoluntarily furloughed, I get no bennies and will not be happy and I am so close to the bottom of the population that it's a prospect I have to deal with and be prepared for.
Anyhoo, it was still a huge and really hard decision to make and when I was putting my choices into the computer this afternoon, I felt more emotional when I saw the dates on the screen. The scariest part about all of this is that the vast majority of the offered furloughs are going to be for 30 months... 2 and a half years!!! That's longer than I've actually been with the company! Ug. On the bright side, if all works out and I'm able to do other things for the next 30 months, by the time I come back, I will have enough seniority to hold a line every other month and I'd be at almost double my current pay rate! Again, if I get the evil INvoluntary furlough, I get NO seniority accrual, so if I ever get called back, I'd be even worse off than where I am today. I wasn't kidding about it being an overly complicated system. Most times it works though, like last fall when we didn't have to take furlough.
Anyhoo, it was still a huge and really hard decision to make and when I was putting my choices into the computer this afternoon, I felt more emotional when I saw the dates on the screen. The scariest part about all of this is that the vast majority of the offered furloughs are going to be for 30 months... 2 and a half years!!! That's longer than I've actually been with the company! Ug. On the bright side, if all works out and I'm able to do other things for the next 30 months, by the time I come back, I will have enough seniority to hold a line every other month and I'd be at almost double my current pay rate! Again, if I get the evil INvoluntary furlough, I get NO seniority accrual, so if I ever get called back, I'd be even worse off than where I am today. I wasn't kidding about it being an overly complicated system. Most times it works though, like last fall when we didn't have to take furlough.
To be completely honest, with all of the reduced flying this year, I could probably make about the same at a restaurant and have a lot more TRULY free time (without being chained to my cell phone). The last 2 weeks when I wasn't working and didn't have to worry about my cell phone completely spoiled me. I won't know anything until the end of July so the next month is just going to be an annoyance when it comes to work because there is so much speculation and worry. I'm convinced that whatever is meant to be will be and I have such a great support system that I'll be 100% fine. This is just how the airline industry rolls, baby. ;)
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Crazy Busy...
My blogging is going to suck for the next week and a half or so. We had 2 weddings last weekend and another one this weekend in TX, to be followed by some MUCH NEEDED R&R and then we have to move all of my stuff across town and paint at least one room. I can only think about a few activities at a time in order to keep from being overwhelmed.
On a random note, today, June 4th, is my second anniversary at United. How scary is that? In theory, you would think that with 2 years under my belt I'd be gaining some seniority, but with no one being hired to replace me in the bottom of the pecking order in over a year, I'm moving up the pay scale and not in seniority. But my next paychecks will reflect my moving into the Year 3 pay catagory! Woo hoo!
We are flying Southwest to San Antonio tonight and I CAN'T WAIT to get there. I'll be the pasty "northerner" dripping with sweat and complaining about the insanely hot temperatures (it was about 60 for the high here yesterday, FYI).
On a random note, today, June 4th, is my second anniversary at United. How scary is that? In theory, you would think that with 2 years under my belt I'd be gaining some seniority, but with no one being hired to replace me in the bottom of the pecking order in over a year, I'm moving up the pay scale and not in seniority. But my next paychecks will reflect my moving into the Year 3 pay catagory! Woo hoo!
We are flying Southwest to San Antonio tonight and I CAN'T WAIT to get there. I'll be the pasty "northerner" dripping with sweat and complaining about the insanely hot temperatures (it was about 60 for the high here yesterday, FYI).
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Lies! All Lies!
So strange things happen in my life sometimes. I had forgotten the amazing effect that working holidays can have on my schedule. Saturday morning the phone rang bright and early with a call to go to Narita, Japan. I'm not gonna lie to you (despite the title of this post) and tell you that Narita is my favorite trip, because it's not. Normally Asia means very long layovers and lovely hotels (oh, Renaissance Hong Kong). However, our union made a deal with the devil a long time ago for our Japan trips to be really short (i.e. 24 hours flight time in a 52 hour away from home span of time). And our hotel more resembles a college dorm room on move in day than any hotel I've ever seen. But I digress, it's the first time I've been away from North America for work in ages and I was a little bit pumped about that.
My first thought that morning went to something I had read in our paperwork about quarantines in Japan and China because of the H1N1 virus. If you will recall, I spent most of last week lying on the couch with a mystery illness. At briefing we had a minor discussion with our purser (aka boss flight attendant, as there are 14 of us on the big honkin' plane to Japan) and one of our trusty supervisors about the quarantine process in Narita upon arrival. The supervisor said something about traveling to Mexico in the last two weeks but since that didn't apply to me, I mentally cleared myself for the trip and told myself it would all be ok when I got there, despite the fact that the purser mentioned being in quarantine for 2 hours the other day because one passenger had a sore throat. Glorious.
12 hours and 260 coach passengers later, we were sitting at the gate in Narita when we were given bags of face masks for every person onboard to put on (almost 400 people). I am so sad that I wasn't allowed to take any pictures because it was one of the funniest things. Here's me modeling mine for you...
And about 10 people in Outbreak-style suits busted on the plane with all this high tech stuff to take everyone's temperature with infrared technology. Even though I was afraid that they'd find out about my secret sickness or that some other passenger would show up sick, it was still one of the funniest things that's ever happened to me in my line of work. We ended up passing our quarantine inspection and they gave everyone one of these little passes to get through customs and immigration.
I may or may not have mentioned that I had been ill within the past 10 days to pass the inspection. Oops.
Tomorrow, look for a fun post about sushi!
My first thought that morning went to something I had read in our paperwork about quarantines in Japan and China because of the H1N1 virus. If you will recall, I spent most of last week lying on the couch with a mystery illness. At briefing we had a minor discussion with our purser (aka boss flight attendant, as there are 14 of us on the big honkin' plane to Japan) and one of our trusty supervisors about the quarantine process in Narita upon arrival. The supervisor said something about traveling to Mexico in the last two weeks but since that didn't apply to me, I mentally cleared myself for the trip and told myself it would all be ok when I got there, despite the fact that the purser mentioned being in quarantine for 2 hours the other day because one passenger had a sore throat. Glorious.
12 hours and 260 coach passengers later, we were sitting at the gate in Narita when we were given bags of face masks for every person onboard to put on (almost 400 people). I am so sad that I wasn't allowed to take any pictures because it was one of the funniest things. Here's me modeling mine for you...
And about 10 people in Outbreak-style suits busted on the plane with all this high tech stuff to take everyone's temperature with infrared technology. Even though I was afraid that they'd find out about my secret sickness or that some other passenger would show up sick, it was still one of the funniest things that's ever happened to me in my line of work. We ended up passing our quarantine inspection and they gave everyone one of these little passes to get through customs and immigration.
I may or may not have mentioned that I had been ill within the past 10 days to pass the inspection. Oops.
Tomorrow, look for a fun post about sushi!
Friday, May 8, 2009
On the Mend?
Today I'm actually feeling a little bit better. I started off yesterday thinking I'd be OK but I had a pounding headache after my three blocks walk to mail back Bride Wars (eh, it was alright, definitely not a DVD I'd buy) and go to Walgreen's.
It's been an utterly pathetic week. I probably slept 15+ hours a day for the past three days. I have graduation and mother's day cards that I haven't mailed yet. I just started doing some laundry as I have completely wasted my two days off doing absolutely nothing and now I have to face my hell tomorrow. I have been on the most annoying pattern of flying lately and it seems I'll be continuing on it again in the morning. I probably face an early morning stand by, which means I get to waste 4 hours of my life at the airport, waiting for a last minute misconnect or sick call. It's my least favorite assignment. In a perfect world, there will be a happy little four day trip waiting for me tonight that I can go on and not have to deal with being on call for the next three days. Is that too much to hope for? Scheduling gods, can you throw me a bone here?
I'm looking forward to hopefully flying so I can get back into my old habits and working out. My gym membership has expired and I'm in a quandry about how to handle that. I had been working out at a rather bare-bones gym that just happens to be steps from Adam's apartment. Turns out the place isn't the best deal around and I really want to find a gym that has my favorite Precor stretch machine. I have to come up with a game plan.
I promise I will have some more interesting blogging soon. The rest of May is going to be busy! Sabrina comes in town early next week, I'm going to try to meet Grandmother and Auntie in DC on Wednesday, and my dad and bro come next weekend for our first Cubs game of the season! Not to mention, it will be my first time in the famous Wrigley Field Bleachers! The following weekend, I run a 10 miler at Soldier Field and we have 2 weddings on the last weekend. I'm so glad I got my sickness out of the way at the most opportune time. Happy Spring to you!
It's been an utterly pathetic week. I probably slept 15+ hours a day for the past three days. I have graduation and mother's day cards that I haven't mailed yet. I just started doing some laundry as I have completely wasted my two days off doing absolutely nothing and now I have to face my hell tomorrow. I have been on the most annoying pattern of flying lately and it seems I'll be continuing on it again in the morning. I probably face an early morning stand by, which means I get to waste 4 hours of my life at the airport, waiting for a last minute misconnect or sick call. It's my least favorite assignment. In a perfect world, there will be a happy little four day trip waiting for me tonight that I can go on and not have to deal with being on call for the next three days. Is that too much to hope for? Scheduling gods, can you throw me a bone here?
I'm looking forward to hopefully flying so I can get back into my old habits and working out. My gym membership has expired and I'm in a quandry about how to handle that. I had been working out at a rather bare-bones gym that just happens to be steps from Adam's apartment. Turns out the place isn't the best deal around and I really want to find a gym that has my favorite Precor stretch machine. I have to come up with a game plan.
I promise I will have some more interesting blogging soon. The rest of May is going to be busy! Sabrina comes in town early next week, I'm going to try to meet Grandmother and Auntie in DC on Wednesday, and my dad and bro come next weekend for our first Cubs game of the season! Not to mention, it will be my first time in the famous Wrigley Field Bleachers! The following weekend, I run a 10 miler at Soldier Field and we have 2 weddings on the last weekend. I'm so glad I got my sickness out of the way at the most opportune time. Happy Spring to you!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Swine What? and I heart Canada
I had a totally crazy trip this weekend. I checked in really early on Saturday morning to fly to San Francisco, then on to Vancouver. I was a little over-excited about it because we switched hotels in YVR and I have heard only the most fabulous things about the place. It's so awesome that I got a text from my friend Christen, who must have seen the trip in my line, asking me to get some extra shampoos from the housekeeper's cart. In our line of work, it's the simple things like in Vancouver where the hotel has rockin' amenities and is actually within the airport, which means: 1. No hotel van to wait for! and 2. No driver to tip when he takes your bags, therefore saving 2 dollars. Don't get me wrong, hotels within the airport aren't the best thing ever but when you have a relatively short layover all that hotel van time just eats away at sleep, which is about all I want to do after a long day of flying.
Our layover was supposed to be around 15 hours, which is my ideal length. It gives me just enough time to stop in to the gym, shower, eat, dry hair (which for me is a mega-project) and get plenty of the aforementioned sleep. I did my whole routine and yes, the room was FAB-U-LOUS. I remember sitting in the bathtub, which was about the size of Dad's hottub, watching Canadian TV (more on that in a minute) and thinking to myself, "wow, it's too bad we have to leave so early in the morning. I could definitely stand to take another bath in this lovely tub." And for the record, I'm not a huge bath person, this tub was just plain amazing.
Since I am an idiot and therefore jinxed my entire crew, of course the phone rings at midnight. I'm confused and think it's my wake up call until I look at the clock and realize I can't remember the last time I made it through an entire night at the hotel without a call from the crew desk. One of my favorite nighttime crew deskers (and I say that dripping with sarcasm), Sally, lets me know that our 6:30 a.m. flight cancelled and now we'll be working a 1 p.m. flight to San Francisco. In my incoherent state, I try to process this and do the math in my head and realize that instead of getting home at 12:30 that it will be no earlier than 10 p.m. now. Ug. Turns out we ended up home at 2:45 a.m. Hip hip horray for glorious Chicago weather. When it rains a drop, the whole airport goes insane. Two days later, I'm in way better spirits about it but at the time I was PISSED. On the brighter side, I had another really great workout (Wii fit says I'm down 3 lbs!) and got in another bath.
But back to the real reason for this post. I have a completely irrational love for Canadian TV. I can't decide if it's because all of the news anchors sound like Robin Scherbotsky from How I Met Your Mother when she gets all Canadian or if it's because I have an extra reliance on the TV to escape boredom in Canada since Sprint charges you for your first born child if you make calls while outside the country. Either way, I love the TV there. It's awesome. It makes me remember the days when international flying was actually a possibility for me. Even though in most Canadian cities you are within an hour of the border, it's still a foreign country and therefore bears a tiny bit of mystique. They also have BBC World, which makes me want to punch Comcast and RCN (our local cable companies) in the face for not carrying the channel.
Since I had all that extra time and I was in the airport so it's not like I had anywhere to go, I got my fill of swine flu coverage. I hadn't even heard about it before I got there. I'm hoping that I don't get assigned a Mexico City trip during all of this hysteria. In Chicago, it's just a turn anyway, meaning that you go down there and come back all in one day, which makes for a sickeningly long day compounded by the fact that you arrive at the international terminal and have to clear customs (unlike awesome Canada, where you get to do that before you leave). It's a barfy trip to start with and I want no part of face masks and sick peeps. I guess I'm lucky because I've never even had the regular flu so I have no idea what kind of suffering these infected people are dealing with. I hope that there continues to be no fatalities here in the U.S or else mass hysteria might break out. I'm not a believer in hand sanitizer to start with (there's nothing like good ole water and soap) but I saw on the news today that stores in Chicago are selling out of the stuff. Sure enough, I headed out on my almost-daily trip to our local Walgreens and some girl was all bent out of shape with the cashier because they were all out of the travel sized sanitizers. People crack me up. That chick is probably the same person who schedules a 30 minute connection and wants to yell at me about how far away the 2 gates are. Idiots.
Our layover was supposed to be around 15 hours, which is my ideal length. It gives me just enough time to stop in to the gym, shower, eat, dry hair (which for me is a mega-project) and get plenty of the aforementioned sleep. I did my whole routine and yes, the room was FAB-U-LOUS. I remember sitting in the bathtub, which was about the size of Dad's hottub, watching Canadian TV (more on that in a minute) and thinking to myself, "wow, it's too bad we have to leave so early in the morning. I could definitely stand to take another bath in this lovely tub." And for the record, I'm not a huge bath person, this tub was just plain amazing.
Since I am an idiot and therefore jinxed my entire crew, of course the phone rings at midnight. I'm confused and think it's my wake up call until I look at the clock and realize I can't remember the last time I made it through an entire night at the hotel without a call from the crew desk. One of my favorite nighttime crew deskers (and I say that dripping with sarcasm), Sally, lets me know that our 6:30 a.m. flight cancelled and now we'll be working a 1 p.m. flight to San Francisco. In my incoherent state, I try to process this and do the math in my head and realize that instead of getting home at 12:30 that it will be no earlier than 10 p.m. now. Ug. Turns out we ended up home at 2:45 a.m. Hip hip horray for glorious Chicago weather. When it rains a drop, the whole airport goes insane. Two days later, I'm in way better spirits about it but at the time I was PISSED. On the brighter side, I had another really great workout (Wii fit says I'm down 3 lbs!) and got in another bath.
But back to the real reason for this post. I have a completely irrational love for Canadian TV. I can't decide if it's because all of the news anchors sound like Robin Scherbotsky from How I Met Your Mother when she gets all Canadian or if it's because I have an extra reliance on the TV to escape boredom in Canada since Sprint charges you for your first born child if you make calls while outside the country. Either way, I love the TV there. It's awesome. It makes me remember the days when international flying was actually a possibility for me. Even though in most Canadian cities you are within an hour of the border, it's still a foreign country and therefore bears a tiny bit of mystique. They also have BBC World, which makes me want to punch Comcast and RCN (our local cable companies) in the face for not carrying the channel.
Since I had all that extra time and I was in the airport so it's not like I had anywhere to go, I got my fill of swine flu coverage. I hadn't even heard about it before I got there. I'm hoping that I don't get assigned a Mexico City trip during all of this hysteria. In Chicago, it's just a turn anyway, meaning that you go down there and come back all in one day, which makes for a sickeningly long day compounded by the fact that you arrive at the international terminal and have to clear customs (unlike awesome Canada, where you get to do that before you leave). It's a barfy trip to start with and I want no part of face masks and sick peeps. I guess I'm lucky because I've never even had the regular flu so I have no idea what kind of suffering these infected people are dealing with. I hope that there continues to be no fatalities here in the U.S or else mass hysteria might break out. I'm not a believer in hand sanitizer to start with (there's nothing like good ole water and soap) but I saw on the news today that stores in Chicago are selling out of the stuff. Sure enough, I headed out on my almost-daily trip to our local Walgreens and some girl was all bent out of shape with the cashier because they were all out of the travel sized sanitizers. People crack me up. That chick is probably the same person who schedules a 30 minute connection and wants to yell at me about how far away the 2 gates are. Idiots.
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